From Insta-Love to Insta-Hate, How to Improve Your Relationship with Instagram

If I’m going to be honest…social media is a love hate relationship

“God I hate Instagram…”

I love listening to other people’s conversations the same way I like to translate conversations in French or Vietnamese. I can’t resist the natural curiosity. Some call it eavesdropping, I call it…yeah okay- it’s eavesdropping. The point is, there is valuable information out there, and sometimes I stumble upon it randomly. From listening to conversations, I have learned that a lot of my gal pals struggle with their feelings for social media.

People treat social media like dating accounts. Non-committal, yet very committed. My friends thrive on Instagram one day and then want to delete their app or whole account the next. It’s an ongoing conversation of, “I love it, but it loves me not.”

I understand the mental drain myself. Every other day I vacillate between deleting all of my social media accounts and quitting my job to have time to travel and blog more. The one-eighty gives me a bit of whiplash too.

The temptation to breakup with the internet is so striking to me, I couldn’t resist writing about it. All relationships have boundaries. The ones I set for Instagram have guided me to being happier.

Remember why you joined

I know our world seems to be superficial likes and comments. At times we want to break up with our social media accounts, but we don’t because deep down it’s wonderful to stay connected. I always remind myself that my account is a really convenient way to stay connected with people who matter to me.

What I truly love about Instagram is that I can post photos I daydreamed about and then actualized. At the end of the day, I value that it is a creative outlet for me. The whole process, while exhausting, is worthwhile. Creativity is driven by difficulties. Even if it is just an app, it knows how to challenge its users.

Change your settings for notifications

The people who developed the algorithm everyone hates so much, also made very specific notification settings. I turned off some of my notifications because it allows me to disconnect when I am not on the app. The app automatically has certain setting on because it makes sense for users to constantly be connected as a default. Turning off some of the notifications allows me to forget about the app, which is sometimes necessary.

I can go days and weeks without touching the app. Some days I’ll spend more time on it than I feel comfortable sharing. Keeping the notifications off is my way of taking a vacation.

Limit screen time

This may sound patronizing- because I am advising you to parent yourself. All of the children I have ever babysat have limited screen time. I respect those parents. And so, I have decided to adopt their philosophy. I spend a fair amount of time editing my photos before posting. To make sure I’m not on my phone all day, I try to avoid Instagram for 24 hours after I post a photo. Not sure if that surprises you, but I really don’t want to be glued to a screen all the time.

Research has told me that this is considered an engagement no-no. I choose to resist the appeal of following the research for the sake of my own sanity. I’m always impressed with how connected and committed bloggers are to their engagement. Cheers to the day where we master this balance.

If you feel like you’re spending too much time thinking about a post, give yourself a reprieve and limit your screen time post your posting.

Pro tip: there are apps that will help you do this! You can lock yourself out of social media or even find apps that reward you for disconnecting from your phone.

Experiment with your posts

Nothing is worse than feeling pigeon holed or thinking it’s too late for change.

I think a lot of people make fun of the title: “Content Creator” as well as “Influencer.” I get it. The titles seem silly because they aren’t immediately relatable, especially if you are just using the app for fun. BUT, I think everyone should channel their inner “content creator.” Think of it as a similar approach to emulating Beyoncé’s fierceness and “I woke up like this” mentality.

Aspire to be like the experts because it will challenge and empower you to adventure into a world of experimentation.

When I opened my insta account I had no idea what insta + aesthetic meant. Today I’m still challenging myself to try new things.

Personally, I think you’ll have a healthier relationship with the app if you find the fun and artistic side of it.

**Remember it’s your account**

It’s YOUR Instagram so it can be all about YOU. From observation, I’ve noticed a lot of people hesitate to do multiple posts of themselves or write long captions with detailed thoughts. It’s fair to assume that the people who follow you probably like seeing your posts. Don’t overthink posting selfies or bikini pics. If you like the photo, that’s the only reason you need to post.

I hesitated to post the photo above and I had to give myself a pep talk. Most of us have been there and we will still be heading in that direction for a long time. It’s okay!

Follow and unfollow at your own discretion

It is your account, you can follow and unfollow whomever, whenever.

And ditch the follow for a follow and like for a like mentality. Do it because you genuinely want to and because it brings you some level of joy. I don’t mean to discourage reciprocation. I just believe that you should stay true to your nature and avoid letting the app change your behavior.

Remember that you are an autonomous being and you can make your own rational decisions! Don’t let anyone pressure you into following or liking.

I will admit…I wish that the unfollow was just as notifiable as the follow, because then it could be more mutual. Maybe one day Insta will make the unfollow more explicit.

Signing off!

Part of sharing this post for me is trying to be more vulnerable. A lot of my friends and people I know describe my Instagram with words like: curated, extra, posed, or planned. While usually meant to be complimenting, I notice that only the people who know me personally understand my artistic view of my account. If I stumbled upon my own account as a stranger, I’m not sure if I would find me approachable.

The tidbits I’m sharing with you here are practices that have helped me. There are still days where I want to break up with Instagram, and those days I just completely avoid the app. I want to encourage you to be experimental and do what you need, to love what you do on Instagram. There are lots of different tricks to discover and I would appreciate any advice you have to offer me too.

That’s it for this blog post! I hope you come back and visit me here! Or travel to another post!