A Word of Advice from My Experiences

Four years working toward my BA in philosophy and French and sometimes felt like I was actually getting BS. I’m just kidding! All of the hard work is worth it! It is strange to see that this journey has ended. If I could give you one piece of advice from a lesson I learned, you can find it below.

There were many points in the road where I found myself speeding. When I realized I needed to slow down, I would think about what any of my work meant. I’m tempted to say that I struggle with imposter syndrome, but it’s not exactly the case. Achieving for me is reflexive and it usually means that I am on an accelerated path. I always admire people who can openly share their accomplishments because I think it is an important strength. 

Being a hype woman and encouraging friends are really important for me. The difficulty is finding the right way to enjoy my own achievements. I tend to operate in the mode of checking off one thing and moving onto the next. Then all of a sudden college ended and there were academic banquets, honor society inductions, and words of affirmation from esteemed members of my community. It felt like sensory overload and I realized I had never processed that each milestone was worth celebrating. Each check point along the way should be relished. You don’t have to wait until the finish line.

The last month was full of surprises. I started college wanting to succeed and I had no clue that there were any awards to be earned. I just wanted to make my family and friends proud. That was my motto for most of college, but it seemed like there was no clear finish line. I would overlook the small steps and the big wins. In hindsight, I think I mistook that recognition and success are merits that have to be awarded from others. Now, I realize that stopping to recognize and relish when we accomplish something that matters to us is a great strength.

I think practicing gratitude should include being kind to yourself. It’s okay to give yourself compliments and cheer yourself on. Sure, someone might misinterpret your self encouragement as arrogance- why should that stop you? Don’t let others have the power to label you or you may prevent yourself from enjoying your achievements. 

It might sound like a problem with lack of self esteem, but I don’t think that an inability to celebrate one’s accomplishments equates to low self confidence. For me, it’s a matter of being able to slow down and appreciate your success. You can know that everything that you do has value and that you worked hard for it without ever truly celebrating. 

I think I’ve had one too many conversations about fear of judgement. We should stop being afraid that others may think we are bragging. Yes, being humble is virtuous, but so is loving who you are. Who you are includes your accomplishments and your failures. You’re allowed to toast your downfalls as much as your wins. Count your talents on your fingers and remember that you probably have more talents than fingers. Remind yourself that fulfilling your passions is important. Treat yourself when you get a rejection letter and acknowledge that you’re one rejection closer to finding your place. Some injustices we do to ourselves. Sometimes we become thieves and steal moments of gratitude and joy from ourselves.

For all of the students who are on bumpy roads that hopefully lead to more good news than bad, remember to practice self gratitude. It takes courage and vulnerability to openly share news about your life. Practicing self gratitude means that you have to take small steps and expose yourself to your fears or judgments. I have no idea when you’ll start to feel comfortable with sharing your success, but start by challenge yourself and those around you to be more encouraging of embracing the big and small achievements. Cheer others on and trust that everyone wants to celebrate you too. We can help each other build the support systems we need to be able to celebrate who we are and who we want to become. Let’s do it together!